7 Types of First-Years on Housing Day

You might have looked at the title and my graduation year and thought, “What does she know about Housing Day?” Honestly, not much. But I can say that Annenberg in the days leading up to the grand event provides an ocean of information. Some people want Adams (Insomnia Cookies?!), some want Eliot (hello, in-suite bathrooms!), and some are just going to go with the flow (liars). As an independent observer with no stake in this at all (it could make or break my college experience), I can almost guarantee that there will be some absurd reactions and some fascinating strategies. From a fellow first-year, here’s a rundown of seven types of first-years you’ll find on Housing Day:

Did River Run and it worked

You will go to your grave swearing that River Run works if you do it right. Sure, everybody says it’s random, and sure, there’s literally no evidence suggesting otherwise, but you were extra special and you really did it right. To all the people who did River Run and got Quadded, are you sure you took every shot? Did you leave any drops of cheap vodka on the rim of the glass? Whisper the magic words? Either way, you get to tell everyone that luck (and the River Run gods) were on your side.

Did River Run and got Quadded

You probably feel like the world hates you. You took so many shots at so many houses (no one needs to know why there’s puke in the grass outside Eliot) and it was all for good luck — all to increase your odds of being that much closer to Felipe’s. But now you’re rocking the worst hangover of your life, and in a couple hours you’ll have to trek over to the Quad and eat dinner there. But then you realize, maybe you’re just being dramatic. People love the Quad, for the community, for the vibes. And hey, you’ll come to love it too.

Just happy to have a blocking group

February was a tough month for you. Your roommates all blocked with each other and some other kid (“We didn’t do it on purpose, we just all know her from a separate mutual acquaintance!”). You were going to block with your girlfriend, but she dumped you on the 13th. Somehow though, you all-mighty hero, you managed to scrounge up a pset buddy and the kid you see in the bathroom every Saturday night when you’re both drunk and can’t find the toilet. This was an act of God. So, when six juniors burst into your room on Housing Day you don’t even care what they’re screaming. Pfoho? Quincy? Adams? Doesn’t matter – at least you’re not going alone.

Has a midterm in an hour

“Winthrop!” “Leverett!” “Cabot!” “LS50!” Oh no. You’ve got about 27.5 more minutes of celebrating and then it’s off to Cabot Library to fake-study for a midterm you’ve had three weeks to prepare for. Will you sit there and make a list of all the things you won’t learn in the next hour-and-a-half instead of actually studying? Maybe. Will you stare longingly at the Yard and wish you’d just studied yesterday like your blockmates told you? Probably. But hey, at least after your midterm, you can celebrate with a tour and dinner at your new house!

Still Asleep

Look, we get it, it happens to the best of us. Just last week, I slept through my 9 a.m. (aka I woke up an hour before and turned off all my alarms). Unfortunately, you just happened to sleep through one of the most exciting days of the year. Don’t worry though, if the first couple knocks from upperclassmen lathered in body paint and not enough clothes don’t rouse you, they will break down the door and yank you out of bed themselves (probably? I’m a first-year, I don’t know). This is an unofficial official reminder to set your alarm. Heck, set multiple alarms. It’s Housing Day. Get up.

Already hates their blocking group

You’re out in the Yard and you’re already trying to convince everyone that your new house is the best house, but… hold on. Where are your future roommates? Oh god, one of them is trying and failing to climb onto the John Harvard statue, fighting for the perfect spot to get on Dean Khurana’s Instagram feature. Another is screaming in your ear for no apparent reason. Where’s number four? Gotcha. He’s already inviting a girl over and… wait, is he wearing your favorite sweatshirt? Oh no. What have you done?

The Vlogger

People look down on your camera hugging, ring-lit ways, but you swear it’s just because they’re jealous. The poor Dunkin’s manager unlocked the doors at 5 a.m. and there you were, video camera in one hand and notes app open with a list of coffee orders in the other (please tip him, no one should have to make eight oat milk matcha lattes at 5 a.m.). In a few hours, when you and your blockmates are all crammed into one room for dorm storm, your dearest friends will cheer and celebrate and hug. But where are you? By the window sill, recording the moment for the “Day in my Life: Harvard Housing Day Edition” video you’ll upload onto YouTube in a couple hours. Like and Subscribe!

I’ve heard a lot of excuses in my life. I panicked! It all happened so fast! I got caught up in the moment! People seem to think that exciting, overwhelming times can make you do things you’d never do otherwise. Unfortunately for the worst behaved among you, I’m inclined to think that Housing Day brings out our truest selves. Whether you’re crying, passing out, or holding on to that camera for dear life, March 9 should be the day you let loose. If the upperclassmen can do it (see: spandex blue shorts and Lowell body paint), why can’t we?