Dunster’s Plums Are The Reason I Get Out of Bed in the Morning
So, I could write a letter directly to Dunster’s Plums, but that wouldn’t be useful to you. And you — a Harvard student sitting in lecture while comping seven clubs while debating a situationship while double-fisting compostable paper cups while, apparently, reading the latest Flyby masterpiece — you only like things that are useful.
Moving from home to campus has been challenging, yes, but by far the most challenging part has been the absence of fruit. “What about bananas?” you foolishly ask. Try eating five bananas a day, thinking you’re getting your daily serving of fruit, and get back to me. Still like bananas? Yeah, I thought so. Totally not speaking from experience here.
Anyway, back to the Plums. Sure, other houses have plums. But they don’t have Dunster’s Plums. Dunster’s Plums are SO GOOD. Like, they’re washed good. Perched on the top of the fruit display, where they rightfully belong, the Plums demand your attention in a way your untouched p-set could never.
To get your hands on God’s greatest creation, I’d recommend bringing a large bag and the fruit-picking skills your Taiwanese parents instilled in you. Everyone knows that plums in your backpack is a sticky situation — stickier than that time you waited for the SEAS shuttle, only to have to Uber to class when the shuttle didn’t show up :) :) :). Hence, the bag. If you’re not expecting to get enough Plums to warrant a large bag, sorry but gtfo.
You might be wondering, Ariana, if you love the Plums so much, why would you advertise it, thus limiting your personal supply of Plums? Good question, and I’m glad you’re learning a lot in Ec10A. The thing is, while you may be a Harvard student sitting in lecture while comping seven clubs while debating a situationship while double-fisting compostable paper cups while, apparently, reading the latest Flyby masterpiece — you’re still too lazy to walk to Dunster to get Plums. ;)
To conclude, I’d like to thank the housing gods for placing me in Leverett — it’s like a minute away from Dunster’s Plums. For any fellow Dunster Plum enthusiasts, please email firstname.lastname@example.org so we can totally, like, grab some Plums together sometime.
With love, in sickness and in health,