When It All Seems to Go Wrong

There is something so distinct about the days where simply nothing is going right. It always starts with some initiating event that completely knocks us off our intended course. Every minor inconvenience encountered afterward builds the foundation for our frustration, leaving us to helplessly cope with the mess that has been left behind. Our attitudes, moods, and perspectives shift drastically. We complain, make excuses, and find someone or something to blame for our misery. Ultimately, we halfheartedly convince ourselves that all will be fine tomorrow, failing to resolve and reflect on our disappointment.

It amazes me how normalized this pattern of behavior is — I struggle with these tendencies myself, even unconsciously. After a disappointing grade on an exam, my brain automatically attempts to internalize how this poor result could be justified. Did I not get enough sleep to maximize my ability to focus while taking the test? Should I have slept one less hour and instead reviewed that cell transport lecture just one more time?

Or the question of imposter syndrome that is quite customary at Harvard: Am I just dumb?

Whenever confronted by a tough situation, I have to deliberately remind myself that none of these thoughts are rational. The truth is that I worked as hard as I possibly could — I went to office hours with questions on exam content, I created a review guide with concepts I was struggling with, and I maximized the educational resources available to me.

It is hard to admit, but sometimes, things just go wrong.

And while it stings at the moment, the long-lasting consequences of these difficult days are indispensable to our success in the future. We need the bad days to have the good ones. If our lives effortlessly effused perfection and flawlessness, we would never reflect and redirect ourselves in a meaningful way. Our lives would transform from their intended dynamic and ever-evolving nature to being monotonous and mind-numbing.

On my first Life Sciences 50 midterm of the fall semester, I scored short of the benchmark I had set for myself. I have always been an individual with high expectations for what I hope to accomplish: missing my goal disheartened me.

Without that discouraging midterm grade, however, I would not have adjusted my vision of what I wanted from my Harvard education in the way that did. In high school, I attributed high grades to success and to some degree, my self-worth. Over the course of my college experience so far, however, this notion has faded away. The numbers on my grading portal mean little if I am not reaping genuine appreciation and interest from the content I am learning. While the grades that will appear on my transcript upon graduation will carry the weight of my hard work throughout my time at Harvard, they will not define my academic journey at this University.

In the same vein, the time we spend complaining about trivial matters all becomes absurd when we consider everything we are so lucky to have — the good days that go overlooked.

Upon returning home to upstate New York during winter break, I reconnected with a few hometown friends and we all collectively shared our college experiences with one another. It amazed me that after just 30 minutes, we had all resorted to vocalizing what we disliked about our respective universities.

Every single one of us involved in that dialogue was incredibly privileged. We all attend private universities, thanks to financial aid and support from our parents. We have tremendous access to educational resources beyond measure — to this day, I am still stunned by the vast breadth of knowledge within reach in the world of higher education. We are lucky to have all three meals of the day at our disposal by virtue of unlimited meal plans and dining options just minutes away from our dorms. We should recognize the privilege of even having dorms to live in; many students across the globe elect to commute or take online classes simply because they cannot afford on-campus housing.

So why do we complain in the first place? And why do we let defeats bog us down?

After something unpleasant happens, we cannot stop pushing forward. It is time to chase down our next goal and set new directions for the future. This is our chance to reckon with all the talents, opportunities, and advantages we currently have. Recall that there have been good days in the past. Even if there are a slew of bad ones, the power rests in our hands to turn that trajectory back around.

Most importantly, you are not alone in coping with disappointment. Opening up to my classmates, mentors, and professors about my Harvard journey has made it clear that everyone is confronting battles of their own. We should draw on this universal experience and embolden one another to see the path forward.

So, when it all seems to go wrong, take a moment to pause. Remember who is rooting for you. Remember all of the people who inspired, energized, and motivated you to reach where you are now. Remember that they are humans too — people who make mistakes, engage in self-reflection, and move onwards.

Be there for your loved ones during their difficult times, and accordingly, be there for yourself. The good days are on their way.

Alvira Tyagi ’25, a Crimson Editorial editor, lives in Pennypacker Hall. Her column “Reckonings & Revelations” appears on alternate Mondays.

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