Sections

Three personifications of the libraries are depicted. On the left, Cabot science library is depicted, wearing a crimson shirt with an H in the middle. The center character is wearing a stained shirt and messy hair, depicting Lamont Library. The final library, Widener, is depicted as a person with short hair and wearing neutral tones. There is a tri-color background made up of different shades of brown and grey.
Three personifications of the libraries are depicted. On the left, Cabot science library is depicted, wearing a crimson shirt with an H in the middle. The center character is wearing a stained shirt and messy hair, depicting Lamont Library. The final library, Widener, is depicted as a person with short hair and wearing neutral tones. There is a tri-color background made up of different shades of brown and grey. By Samanta A. Mendoza-Lagunas

To Swipe or Not to Swipe (Your HUID): Harvard’s Libraries are Single and Ready to Mingle

Ever wondered about the sex lives of college libraries? Five hot, single libraries are less than a mile away…
By Io Y. Gilman and Amber H. Levis
By Io Y. Gilman and Amber H. Levis

Widener

He/him, 107 y/o, 80 ft. tall

My uniform: Sweater vest, leather briefcase, and my Rolex watch (gift from grandpa before he died on the Titanic 😢)

First round is on me if: You also only drink whiskey on the rocks (“Never delay kissing a pretty girl or opening a bottle of whiskey,” as Ernest Hemingway once said)

One thing I’d love to know about you: If you think I should join the Spee (to be progressive) or the Porcellian (to be traditional)

Two truths and a lie:

I have a Gutenberg Bible

I took a gap year in York translating books from modern English to Olde English

I can’t quote every line of “Hamlet”

By Io Y. Gilman and Amber H. Levis

Cabot

He/him, 49 y/0, 20 ft. tall

My uniform: My “I took CS50” shirt

Dating me is like: Business by day, party by night 😉

Two truths and a lie:

I have two scooters (one electric, one manual)

I own 15 vapes (and counting)

I never skip class to do overdue homework with the lecture on two times speed in the background (anymore)

By Io Y. Gilman and Amber H. Levis

Lamont

She/her, 73 y/o, 30 ft. tall

My uniform: Sweatpants and crocs

I’ll fall for you if: You buy me Red Bull (Summer or Blue edition)

Don’t hate me if I: Accidentally call you “mommy”

Two truths and a lie:

I have never gone to bed before sunrise or a lecture before sunset

I use highlighters as writing utensils

I shower regularly

By Io Y. Gilman and Amber H. Levis

Houghton

She/her, 80 y/o, 20 ft. tall

My uniform: Pantyhose, heels, pearls, and something floral

An overshare: I’ve gone from frenemies to lovers to enemies with W***ner

This year, I really want to: Purge my shelves of books written by white males

Two truths and a lie:

I have never been sick, late, or gotten fewer than eight hours of sleep

I spent my gap year teaching underprivileged children how to bullet journal

I don’t quote Emily Dickinson in casual conversation

By Io Y. Gilman and Amber H. Levis

Law School

He/him, 205 y/o, 40 ft. tall

My uniform: Elbow-patch blazer, cross-body bag, dress shoes, and tortoiseshell frames (but just the frames; I have 20/20 vision)

You should *not* go out with me if: You’re more of an a priori than a a posteriori person

My love language is: Jargon

Three truths and a lie:

I only need five hours of sleep per day

I attend a biweekly Henry James book/fan club

I would never do keg stands at said book club (with wine)

—Magazine writer Amber H. Levis can be reached at amber.levis@thecrimson.com. Follow her on Twitter @amberlevis.

—Magazine writer Io Y. Gilman can be reached at io.gilman@thecrimson.com.

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