Drinky Drink: Autumnal Alcohol

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
By Kathleen A. Cronin

Many students are rejoicing now that the season is changing from sweating to sweater weather. FM has come up with a few autumnal alcoholic beverages to help draw out that inner basic part of you. With enough of these drinks, you’ll soon be posting pictures from your friendly neighborhood apple orchard. Or just stumbling in an apple orchard. Drink responsibly, but remember that you can always tell yourself: An apple a day keeps the doctor away.


1 Pumpkin Spiced Latte


Rip the lid off that sucker, then pour one out for the tan that you’ve already lost. Add one shot of fireball for every layer you’re wearing.


A six-pack of Angry Orchard

A bottle opener

Proper preparation entails getting less than five hours of sleep the previous night with a midterm the next morning. Don’t forget the bags under your eyes big enough to carry your textbooks in.


2 oz. dark rum

½ oz. dry vermouth

1 black olive

Orange sugar

Stir (while putting on cat ears) and strain into a chilled martini glass that has been rimmed with orange sugar (don’t get anything on your skintight leather suit), then garnish the drink with a black olive (and your outfit with whiskers).


(Makes six servings)

1 ½ c. bourbon

2 apples (green and red), chopped

3 sugar cubes

Whole nutmeg, slightly shaved

4 cinnamon sticks, plus more for garnish

1 1” piece fresh ginger

The minute your relatives arrive way too early for Thanksgiving, fill a mason jar with bourbon, apples, sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon, and ginger. Let mixture sit for two to four days, or until you've heard at least 50 ignorant comments about politics from that one relative. Pour the mixture into shot glasses and garnish with cinnamon sticks. Repeat until you forget that you’re actually related to Dave.

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