FM Imagines: Drew Faust's Personal Emails
SENT
To: jessicarosenberg@newyorker.com
From: drewfaust33@aol.com
Subject: Hi Jessica
Hi Jessica!
I know we talked yesterday, but I’m just checking in. How are you? Have you been taking your vitamins? You know I read a great article lately about calcium—I’ll send it to you.
Your dad and I are good! Not much is new around here. I did make a little trip to Beijing this afternoon. It was technically for a conference, but afterwards I saw a panda. I wonder if we could get a panda to come live in my office. LOL.
Anyway, give me a call when you get the chance. I called the Harvard University Information Technology people yesterday so hopefully soon we can “Skype.”
Love you!
Mom
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RECEIVED
To: drewfaust33@aol.com
From: tickets@shitfacedshakespeare.com
Subject: Ticket Reservations
Dear Drew,
You have successfully reserved two tickets to Shit-Faced Shakespeare—Boston’s only Shakespeare festival performed entirely drunk. Your showtime is Friday, April 10 at 7:30 pm.
Please plan to arrive at least 15 minutes before the show. Remember: Bring ID and come thirsty! The players aren’t the only ones who should be drinking.
Cheers,
The Shit-Faced Shakespeare Team
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SENT
To: admissions@fas.harvard.edu; hdr22@clintonemail.com; 87 more
From: drewfaust33@aol.com
Subject: FW: FW: PLEASE FORWARD!!!!!
ATTENTION: FACEBOOK IS SHUTTING DOWN INACTIVE ACCOUNTS! That’s right. Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, has decided that there are TOO MANY unused accounts on his website! So to save Internet space, he is GETTING RID OF HALF!!!
Luckily, it’s easy to protect your account from Mark! All you have to do is download a file at THIS WEBSITE: http://goo.gl/73rRMd. Then help out your friends by forwarding this email to your contact list.
STOP ZUCKERBERG! SAVE FACEBOOK!
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RECEIVED
To: drewfaust33@aol.com
From: janedoe@gmail.com
Subject: John Rudenstein Doe
Mrs. Catharine Drew Gilpin Faust:
I know that regular decisions for the Class of 2019 have yet to be released, but I’m concerned that my son’s application may not have fully represented his many shining qualities. He wouldn’t let me help fill it out, for some reason.
To compensate, I’ve attached the following supplementary materials. I’d like to draw particular attention to page 12 (John’s latest Spanish test), page 64 (our neighbor’s glowing recommendation), and Video 4 (a short clip of last year’s Model UN conference). Additional information is listed in the appen- dix.
Respectfully, Jane Doe
P.S. I got your contact info from your cousin. If he calls, tell him it was a false alarm.
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SENT
To: rake$hk@yahoo.com
From: drewfaust33@aol.com
Subject: Kong run
Hey, I’m starving. Let’s hit up the Kong later.